Thundersnow!

Not to get hung up on the weather, but on Saturday we drove from Chicago to Iowa and we kept seeing warnings about a huge snowstorm that was supposed to hit NE Iowa that day. And apparently, not just any snowstorm, but one that the weatherpeople on the news had started referring to as "Thundersnow." Apparently it was coined because there was supposed to be a crazy snowstorm coming in where they were anticipating as much as an inch of snow an HOUR, accompanied of course by thunder and lightning. T found this new weather-related phrase to be absolutely hysterical. And while I admit that it sounded like kind of a crazy phenomenon, the phrase itself was probably only worth a couple laughs at best. During our 3-hour ride, I think he said it at least a few dozen times, usually followed by girly little giggles. I think I had to threaten his life to make his stop saying it, but even then, he still occasionally started laughing to himself, and I just knew that he was thinking about it.

Well, as predicted, later that afternoon the weather got really really nasty. Sleet, hail, snow, wind...blech. All the things that made me remember why we don't live here. It continued for several hours until, around 11pm, while I was nursing E, I saw a flash of lightning. And of course, a few seconds later, to my dismay, a rumble of thunder. I don't think there was ever any more thunder or lightning than that all night long. But just that one bit was enough to cause T to press his mouth to the door of E's room and loudly whisper "Thundersnow!"

I am a cold weather wuss

It's amazing how, despite the fact that I grew up in Chicago, I acclimated very very quickly to the temperate Texas winters. So much so, that all of last week, as I tried to pack and get ready for our trip to the Midwest to spend the holidays with family, I was pretty much terrified by the weather forecasts. It gets really hard to remember what 20 degrees feel like, especially when just a couple weeks ago, we had a few days in the high 70s.

Well, I made it here, safe and sound and all I can say is...my fears were totally justified. As my mom was driving us from the airport back to her house, she said something like, "oh, you're really lucky because it's actually not that cold today. It's actually 30 degrees." I started laughing as I thought about how cold Dallas has felt lately at 40 degrees, and that's when I realized how wussified I had really become. When we lived in Austin, I used laugh at all the people who were bundled up in hats and scarves when it hit 50 degrees. I won't say I'm quite that bad, but I'm probably not far off.

Needless to say, I am completely lacking in enough warm clothing, and E is only slightly better off. Yesterday, I made a run to Target and probably looked like a crazy person as I loaded my cart up with long sleeve onesies, sweaters, and hats and scarves. Oddly enough though, they had a ton to choose from, much more than what I've seen in Dallas lately.

Ugly Christmas

This is going to sound mean, but I don't care.

What is up with ugly Christmas decorations? I'm not talking about in the mall or anything, but people's front yards. Is this a recent trend that I missed the memo on? Is this everywhere, or just here in Texas? I was driving home the other night and I could not believe how many cheesy, tacky, just plain fugly displays were out there. When I was growing up, Christmas decorations seemed to be mostly limited to lights on your house and bushes. Occassionally, you'd see a yard full of plastic figures of Santa or Jesus or what have you, and sometimes those were even of the light-up variety, but I'd say they were definitely few and far between.

But nowadays, it seems like every other house has one of those giant inflatable light-up dealies, whether it's a giant Santa or maybe some kind of fakey snowglobe. I could probably overlook those if it weren't for the fact that usually, the same houses that have these tend to have one for EVERY freaking occassion. Is a giant, inflated, light-up bunny really a necessity for Easter? I don't think so. Do you need to have a giant turkey in your yard to help you celebrate Thanksgiving? Not so much.

And probably every 4th or 5th house has the weird painted wooden cut-outs. Now this, I cannot abide. There is one house in my neighborhood that has almost their entire lawn taken up by a freaking Precious Moments nativity. Yes, as in the cheesy figurines of big-eyed children which are, if you ask me, only a half step above the Love Is... cartoon characters.

I swear, I'm going to drive through my neighborhood later and take some pictures to post.

Finally!

Project Runway is back! Yay! I've been waiting and waiting for it to start up again, and then of course, last night, I almost forgot that it was on! All I can say is thank god for tivo! We managed to start from the beginning around 20 after, and had totally caught up by the end. Looks like it's going to be a good season. Lots of catty personalities. About 30 seconds in, T declared that he could not stand Christian. I had to laugh. Not that T's homophobic or anything, but I think there's something about people who are so stereotypically "flaming" that really bothers him. Well, and Christian's ridiculous haircut and cocky attitude didn't really help matters.

It's still too early for me to pick a favorite just yet, but I think Rami has a lot of potential.

Why, Snoop, why?

I've always been frank about my obsession with reality tv and my love of Flava Flav as a completely ridiculous reality tv "character" but I just saw an online ad for a new show featuring Snoop Dogg on E! Ugh. I am officially tired of the whole "I'm just a normal celebrity superstar, but here's my wacky homelife" format. Osbournes...ok, it was among the first and the first season was pretty entertaining. But now we have people like Gene Simmons jumping on the bandwagon, and even people of very marginal fame, like Aaron Spelling and Rod Stewart's kids or that Kardashian bimbo, getting their own shows.

Don't get me wrong. I love Snoop. I think he's great. I've always cracked up when he's turned up in a cameo in some random movie, like Starsky & Hutch. But I don't understand this trend of rappers turning themselves into these silly caricatures for the sake of longevity or "expanding their brand." It makes me think of that episode of Entourage where every agency pitching Vince did this montage of name brands ending with his name ("Microsoft. Disney. Coca-Cola. Vincent Chase). Case in point? The aforementioned ad featured a bumper sticker that said "My kid is the Shiznit." I know you can't rap forever, but is this really how you ultimately want to be remembered? What's next man, sitting next to Coolio in the center square?

Happy Halloween!

I am going to stab the next person who rings my doorbell

It's been a long time since I've had a good rant.

So after finally getting the baby down for a nap this morning, she'd been sleeping for maybe half an hour or so when the dog starts going crazy barking. I figured she was just barking at the garbage men or something, but a minute later, the doorbell rings and she really goes nutso. I open the door (because I can never hear the answer to 'who is it?' over all the barking), and it's a random man and woman, and the guy goes, "Is your mom home?" OK...seriously? What the..? I don't know if they thought they were trying to score brownie points or if they were just idiots. I'm leaning towards the latter. I think I must have scowled and said, "Um, NO!" because the guy was all, 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you just look so young." Now, I might be willing to delude myself for a moment and concede that I don't look 32, but I know I don't look under 20! My bullshit radar starts officially beeping.

At this point, if I were this guy, I think I would've realized that I f*#ked up bad enough that there's no way in hell I'd sell anything and just said, "Sorry to bother you ma'am, have a nice day" and left. But of course, no, this guy launched into his sorry spiel, asking me if I have any kids ("yeah, I have a baby that you just woke up, jackass"), what I'm going to be for Halloween ("we're going to be salesmen - yar yar yar!") and if I know some random neighbor down the street that he managed to con into buying his crap. Apparently, he's selling some sort of metal cleaner or polish and he proceeds to start polishing the door handle. Did I mention that the dog is still going apeshit in the background and the baby has started wailing as well? After about 15 seconds, I finally handed him back his little brochures and was like, "yeah, my baby is crying, I really don't have time for this" and closed the door.

We usually never get doorknockers, but in the last week or two, I've had some guy claiming to be a high school kid looking to raise money for his baseball team (he looked suspiciously old to be in high school), someone trying to sell me on joining some sort of produce co-op (money up front, of course), and a guy selling stock door-to door. I shit you not. What's next, Jehovah's witnesses? I swear to god, the next yahoo who rings my doorbell trying to hawk some sort of nonsense is really going to get it. We seriously need a "No Solicitors" sign, mainly for their protection.

ETA: I guess this doesn't bode well for Trick or Treaters....