Argh.

So. I'm at my mom's house this week. And she while she does have cable, she does NOT get Bravo. *sigh*

I thought I'd be able to watch this week's Project Runway online, but no such luck. The most recent episode they have up is the LL Cool J one. Jerks. And on top of that, I was trying really hard to NOT know who was kicked off before seeing the episode, but the first thing I see on Bravo's website? "Watch Jerell's last words!" Double jerks.

So no recap or comments this week. It'll have to save my vitriol for the finale. Instead, since my suspense is already ruined, I'll link to a recap by people infinitely funnier than me at Best Week Ever (the photo up top is also "courtesy" of them). And I'll also reiterate how much I HATE Kenley with the burning fire of a thousand suns. She sucks. I'd kiss Wendy Pepper before I'd shake Kenley's hand.

By the way, I must also add that my mom's computer is on Vista, which totally f'ing BLOWS. IE has crashed no less than 2 dozen times while I've been trying to post this. Grrr.

Unbelievable

So once again, Kenley squeaks through. Ugh, ugh, UGH!! I think tonight's episode really demonstrated every reason why she sucks.
Excuses for why she didn't win last week? Check.
Whining about how she's so misunderstood? Check.
Bagging on everyone else to make herself look better? Check.
Backtalk to Tim and the judges? Check.
Overconfidence? Check.

I think from the very first scene of the show, it was clear that she's finally on the downswing. Because yes, it's all Leanne's fault that you lost last week. She just couldn't sell your crappy white girl imitation version of hip hop. And then she wonders why no one likes her. Whatever. It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you've been a raging bitch all season, openly laughing at other designers' work and belittling anyone who dares to criticize you.

I think it's pretty telling when all the other designers openly hate one person. Normally, you'd figure they spend so much time together and that in most cases, the "villain" is more a victim of editing. But the evil glee that Jerell, Korto and Leanne all took in Kenley forgetting her tulle and then purposely NOT giving her their extra...hilarious! I laughed my freaking butt off.

I'm glad the judges FINALLY commented on Kenley's bad attitude too. I almost have to wonder if the fact that they have so little interaction with her has blinded them to her ongoing suckitude. I loved it too that Jerell called her out. Pure awesome.

I stand by my previous statements that Kenley sucks worse than the Pepper. At least Wendy Pepper knew that she was outclassed from a talent standpoint.

In any case, it was another sort of lackluster set of performances this week. I wasn't really over the moon about any of the dresses, so I'm really curious to see how their collections turn out (and no, I have NOT looked at any of the spoiler pics from Fashion Week) in next week's show, which I will probably have to find a way to watch online, since I'll be at my mom's house and she doesn't get Bravo. Grr.

I'm still picking Jerell and Korto as the two front-runners, with Jerell having the slight edge. I think Leanne is a bit of the dark horse since she seems to be a bit inconsistent, and also has trouble with some of her editing choices. I refuse to even entertain the notion of Kenley winning.

Speechless

hate. kenley. so. much.

I'm so enraged by tonight's show, I can barely speak. Suede's outfit wasn't great, but Kenley's was god-awful. I can't even talk about this. I'm going to have to write more when I've calmed down.

True Blah

I normally love vampire stories, so I was kind of excited to watch the new HBO series, True Blood. And the fact that it's produced by Alan Ball was also a plus for me since I loved Six Feet Under (that last episode still makes me cry every time). T & I tivo'd the first episode a few weeks back and have just caught up with the three eps that have aired so far. And so far, the verdict is...meh.

The premise is intriguing: vampires "come out of the closet" and try to become a part of mainstream society; there's several mentions of a 'vampires' rights amendment' or something of the sort, which I assume is a nod to the civil rights movement. But the fact that the bulk of the show revolves around a backwater town in rural Louisiana gets very old, very fast. I may have a high tolerance for cheesy vampire shit, but I definitely do NOT have a high tolerance for cheesy southern accents.

I'm not going to go into tremendous detail here. I'll just say that the first episode had a lot of promise, but I've spent every one since waiting for something big to happen, some revelation or connection between all the pieces. And it still hasn't. I only have so much patience for a new show, even an HBO one. All the characters just seem so trite and two-dimensional: the sassy black girlfriend, the shallow womanizing brother, the doting grandmother. The murder-mystery seems somewhat predictible, and there's not enough of the revelations of backstory or mythology surrounding the vampires (or even the main character's psychic abilities) that are what I personally find most fascinating. As I watched each episode, I found myself mentally comparing it to Anne Rice or Buffy, and all in all, it's sorely lacking. But of course, like the sucker I am (no pun intended), I'll probably still watch it.

Speaking of lameness, I'm also already feeling kind of over Entourage. I think they jumped the shark with the whole Medellin storyline (although, check out the trailer on the "official" Medellin website - it's sweet). It just dragged on way too long, and the fallout of it being a bomb is just plain boring.

The initial appeal of the show, at least to me, was that it was pretty light-hearted. Kind of a fun insiders' look at young Hollywood and how ridiculous the lifestyle is. But now I feel like it's starting to take itself a little too seriously, especially after all the comparisons of it being the male equivalent of Sex and the City. So they're going to try and build Vince up to be some sort of serious actor. Bah. This is one of those times that I wish I could hit fast-forward on the tivo and jump ahead like, 3 episodes to when it gets good again.

What year is this?

So, in case you've never noticed, I am Asian. Chinese, to be specific. My parents are actually from Taiwan, but I was born here in the U.S. As a child, I never ever had a single doll that looked anything like me. If I could find one that had brown hair, it was a banner day. Now I know that 30-odd years ago, it was simply not possible to find Asian-American dolls. But you'd think that we've come a long way since I was a kid, right? Well....I'm starting to feel not so sure about that.

For instance, the toys pictured up top. Those are real toys, currently for sale on Oompa.com, under the title of "Asian Family." I mean, seriously? Those border on freaking caricature. Who is buying those for their kid's dollhouse? Not me, that's for damn sure. And then I found these dolls, which might be even more horrifying, if that's possible.

So now that I have a daughter of my own, I've been on the search for some Asian dolls for her to play with. Let me tell you, the pickings are SLIM. For one thing, don't even bother looking in a brick and mortar store. At least, not here in Texas, and definitely not at any of the major chain stores. I've focused the bulk of my search online. The results I've found have varied from comical to downright horrifying. Let's take a gander, shall we?

The first doll that usually comes up in a search is this Corelle one. Corelle dolls are (I'm told) very high quality and expensive - I think they're French, if that means anything. This one's name is "Yang," (rolling my eyes) and in all honestly, she's not that bad. But I just don't find her to be very cute. Her hair is awful, and she looks like she's frowning, which I think is weird.



Corolle also makes another Asian doll, known as "Choquette Kim," although she's not listed on the Corolle website. Except for the black hair and slightly less peachy skin tone, she looks just like all the other dolls in the same line - meaning, she has big old round-y eyes. I think this is my biggest peeve: when they take a white/Caucasian baby doll, add some black hair and call it good. Grr.


Then we start to get into some of the weirder stuff, the ones that really bug me. For instance, the other type of doll that comes up a lot when you google search for "Asian dolls" are white dolls dressed in "traditional Asian" clothing. Like this one, which looks like some sort of Asian version of a Precious Moments figurine. Barf.


Last, but not least, there are the cloth dolls where they usually just draw a nice slanty line for the eyes, like this one. Also a bit of a peeve. I mean, I know my eyes aren't super round, but they aren't freaking little tiny slits either.


So there are a few dolls that I do like. This website called the Children's Factory actually has a pretty wide selection of ethnic dolls. Here are some of my faves.





But I'm super picky, so there's still things about each of the above dolls that I don't quite like. Although, I probably will buy the potty doll when we get ready to potty train. I finally ended up buying this pattern so I could make a doll myself. Here's the finished end product.


Not perfect, but I'm pretty happy with it for now.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention, we do already have one doll that I'm pretty happy with. It's the American Girl Bitty Baby with light skin, dark hair, and almond eyes. She's not super Asian-looking, but she does have almond eyes that are not outrageously slanty, so I'm satisfied. However, I would never pay that much for a doll, especially for a very small child. I'm way too much of a cheapskate. My sister-in-law loves American Girl dolls and bought it for E when she was born.

And then there were five...

OK, first off, a little rant:
I am so. freaking. sick. of Kenley! Ugh!!!! I don't think I've hated a Project Runway contestant this much since...Wendy Pepper. That's saying something. I mean, one of the first things they show her saying on last night's episode is how Tim Gunn just doesn't "get" her and she's not going to listen to him.

OK, how many freaking times do I have to say it? ALWAYS LISTEN TO TIM GUNN! The man is right about 99.8% of the time! And if you don't care what he or the judges think, then why bother being on this show? I hate hate hate people who think they know more than the judges. Or refuse to accept constructive criticism in order to grow and learn. Yes, I'm talking to you, Miss "I don't pay attention to other collections." Um, OK, that makes sense. Because you know, if you're so freaking smart, then why aren't you the editor of a major fashion magazine or the head of a multi-million dollar fashion empire? I'm not a huge fan of Michael Kors only because he's not to my personal taste, but I will admit that the man does know what he's doing.

T gave a perfect description of Kenley during one commercial break. He said that she's like the girl you meet at a party that seems really cool. She's all cute and hip with her vintage Bettie Page hair and clothes. But then you get to be friends with her and after a month or two, you realize that she just plain sucks. She's a bitch who has nothing else going for her but her surface appeal and her ability to bag on everything and everyone around her. (Ok, I embellished his words for that last sentence, but it's true.) When she busted out laughing on the runway at the judges' comments about Joe, I wanted to reach through the screen and smack her. I mean, seriously, show a little respect and self-control.

And this show has reflected that perfectly. After the first episode, both T and I really liked her, thought she was talented and cute. But the allure quickly faded as we realized that she's sort of a self-important bitch. And Jerel hit the nail on the head when he pointed out that she really only has the one look that she just keeps shuffling out there over and over and over again. In fact, Jerel has pointed that out about more than one contestant, and guess what? All the other ones are gone. After seeing the previews for next week, I cackled with evil glee at the thought of Kenley possibly finally getting her comeuppance.

Overall, I thought last night's was a good show. I love makeovers! I thought Jerel's look was amazing. He totally deserved his win. I don't think anyone else had a chance. Korto's look was cool. I was kinda surprised that she managed to pull off the burlap jacket. It was looking pretty dicey there for a while. Everyone else was...meh. Suede's and Joe's outfits were both pretty horrifying. As soon as Joe started talking about doing a suit from menswear fabric, my heart sank for him. I mean, I know he's not the most trendy hipster guy on the show, but sheesh man, a blue skirt suit? For a graphic designer? Really? He was doomed from the start. But Suede gave him a run for the money with his awful crazy ugly jacket. Anyone else notice how the much the references to himself in the third person have subsided now that he's on the chopping block?

So I think the top 3 are pretty clear. Jerel, Korto and Leanne. Although I'm sure Kenley will find a way to sneak in there, especially if they end up sending 4 instead of 3 to Bryant Park. I don't think Suede stands a chance. And Joe should have been happy to make it as far as he did. Yes, you're straight. Dude, we get it.

Fashion Week was actually last week, and I know all of the final 6 showed collections. I've refrained from reading much more than that because I want to preserve the suspense till I watch the finale.

teehee

I'm not usually a big fan of Jimmy Kimmel, and I rarely watch his show, but a friend posted this on the mom's board I'm on and it's too funny not to share.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Color me unimpressed

Am I the only one who is a bit disappointed in Project Runway this season? Like, maybe they decided to cast for drama instead of talent? I swear, I am SO sick of listening to contestants bitch and moan about how misunderstood they are. Ugh! The last two weeks of whining have just made me so irritable. In fact, I was beyond disgusted to have to even look at Keith's face again last night. That guy sucks beyond belief. I can't believe they brought all those people back. I never really get it when they do stuff like that. I mean, you have all these people who've been booted, some of whom have GOT to still be bitter (ahem, Keith), and they have zero incentive for helping their partner! I would probably say screw you and take a nap too.

Also, is anyone else starting to hate Kenley as much as I do? I really liked her after the first episode or two, but man is she irritating now! Between the annoyingly fake laugh and the general overconfidence and refusal to accept criticism, she's fallen far and fast in my book. And I've hated the last few outfits she's made too. Last week, I was stunned when she ended up in the top two. And last night...blech.

I was also a little surprised that Jerel won last night. I didn't care much for his outfit. I guess I'm just not in sync with the judges this season. I was glad to see Blayne go, and a little surprised that Suede escaped the axe. I liked Terri, but I have to admit that after one of the other contestants pointed out that she was sort of a one-trick pony, the charm started to wear off.

So now we're finally down to a more interesting and manageable six contestants. Again, not hugely impressed with any of them. I do like Leanne quite a bit after she got over her early missteps (and ditched the fugly glasses). And Jerel, while inconsistent, seems to be a pretty solid contender as well. But everyone else...meh.

The Cho Show

Late last night I caught what I think was the first episode of Margaret Cho's new show on VH1. I remember reading a while back that she was going to have a show, but frankly, I kind of abandoned VH1's whole "celebreality" lineup a few months ago and forgot all about it. I'm normally all for trashy tv, but I've had more than my fill of Bret Michaels, "New York," rehab and whatever other dreck they've been throwing on.

I've always been a huge fan of Margaret Cho, even during and after her awful awful sitcom, but I kind of stopped hearing about her for a while. I think there was a rehab stint or something? Anyways, next time I saw her, she's all super svelte and has all these crazy tats! (If you want to see a crazy and slightly disturbing picture, check out the link in #3 on this site, found through Pajiba)

But I was pleasantly surprised by The Cho Show. It reminds me a little bit of Kathy Griffin's Bravo show, but not quite so desperate or mean-spirited. Not that I don't like My Life on the D List, but it gets a little old. Cho's show is a little bit over the top as well (her personal assistant is a glammed-out little person, she considers going to an awards show in body paint only), but then I would expect no less. And somehow, Cho is just generally less grating on my nerves. I also really like actually seeing her interact with her parents since I always wondered how accepting they were of her performances, among other things. But it's kind of tender to see that while they clearly think she's nutty, they just kind of roll with it, even when she makes fun of them and threatens to put them in a home.

I'm adding a season pass to my DVR. I believe new eps are on Thursday nights, but of course VH1 also reruns them ad nauseum.

Where to begin

I keep meaning to write about the new season of Project Runway, but it's almost too overwhelming during these early episodes. I can't remember anyone's name, especially now that they start with 16 contestants! But now that we're down to a sort of reasonable number, I'm going to do my best. Although I will preface with saying that I was sort of bummed that the Asian guy was the first one "Auf'd." Why is it always the Asian dude that turns out to be embarrassing? Dammit.

So we're only 3 episodes in, there are already 3 people I cannot stand. I'm sure it won't take rocket science to figure out who they are.

#1. Guy who keeps referring to himself in the third person. I'm sorry, was there EVER a point in time when this was considered funny or cool? T pointed out that despite the idiocy of it, it does effectively draw attention to yourself. So congratulations Suede, you win the prize for having having an asinine schtick to match your asinine name. I could almost over look it if he were 17, but he's freaking 37! I'm all the more pained by the fact that he appears to actually be talented, so we may have to endure this for a while. Bleh.

#2. Old chick who thinks she's still rockin.' From the first episode, she's done nothing but whine. Her cause is also hurt by the fact that she is annoying just to look at. What the heck is up with the dots of eyeliner under her eyes? Scary.

#3. Guy who thinks it's clever to add "licious" to everything. Um, yeah, not funny. It's not even original dude. Just sad, really.

Onto tonight's episode. Was I the only one who was shocked/horrified by the outcome? I honestly thought that Kenley's outfit was hideous. I mean, I guess it was well-made, but the colors made my head hurt. I wasn't a big fan of Terri's either, but I guess the whole 80s aesthetic is in now. I can't believe that Leanne didn't win though. Hers was so gorgeous!

I was also pretty surprised that Emily was eliminated. Her dress was definitely not great, but it wasn't nearly as hideous as Jennifer or Keith's! I'm usually pretty good at calling it on who's going to be booted, and I was way off this time.

So the frontrunners so far seem to be Kenley, Kelli and (sigh) Suede. The talent (and ego) levels seem to be very high again this season, so I suppose anything can happen.

Oh, one last thing. What the hell happened to Sandra Bernhard's face? She looked like she was so botoxed that she could barely manage a smile. Bleah!

Gotta love Sesame Street

I will say that one nice thing about having a kid is getting back in touch with some of the things that I loved as a child. Like most people in my age group, I have very fond memories of watching Sesame Street. E is still a little young to really understand it (or any TV, for that matter), but we watch it together on occasion. It's changed quite a bit over the years (Elmo seems to have taken over), but every so often there's still some really good gems in there. I've never been a huge REM fan, but I had to giggle when I saw this the other day:



And this one, I didn't see this when it aired, but it was on Pajiba today and I couldn't resist:



Last, but not least, I have to add this gem that T sent me a while back. I honestly cannot believe that they let him jam out with like, a 10-piece band, but they did and it is the pinnacle of awesomeness:

Just noticed this

From Yahoo Most Popular - because you know, that's where all the hard-hitting news is:
I guess Jessica is out due to injury and Comfort is back in.

It'll be interesting to see what happens this week now, especially since I never thought Jessica was that strong a performer anyways. But I also doubt that Comfort will make the most of her reprieve.

No big surprises

It's taken me a while to catch up since we were out of town all last week, but I ended up watching last week's and this week's SYTYCD pretty much back to back. It's all starting to get a bit predictable now. After we watched last week's, where Kourtni & Matt were eliminated (meh - good riddance, tall freaks), I immediately turned to T and said, "Buh-bye Comfort & Thayne" because it was so SO obvious that they were going to be cut next. I mean, they were decent, but let's face it, they were also just both way out of their league compared to the remaining 10, some on a level of talent, but others on a charisma/personality level.

But all that being said, I have to say, it's starting to irk me how the judges really stump more for some couples over others. More than a few times this season, I've thought that a dance was really kind of sucky and tired, but then the judges come out fawning all over how wonderful it is. I hate to sound like one of those lame-o conspiracy types, but it really does seem odd how certain couples would just get hammered every week no matter how good the routine seemed to my amateur eyes.

Also, am I the only one who wants to punch Mary Murphy in the face? I know being loud and annoying is like, her schtick, but damn, she's really taking it to a whole new level this year. And since when did the "hot tamale train" become some sort of marketable catch phrase. It cracks me up when she shakes her head, all sad and serious, and says, "I'm sorry, I just can't put you on the train this week." It's not frickin' Sophie's Choice woman. I feel like the Queen Bee chick from Mean Girls and saying "Stop saying 'fetch!' It's just not going to happen!" No one is going to be buying "Hot Tamale Train" t-shirts, Mary Murphy. Just give it up. It was only moderately funny for one season. Now it's just sad.

Total side note, but how scary has her eye makeup has been the past couple weeks? In case you missed it, she's had this crazy shimmery white eyeliner all around her eyes. T said she looked like an alien. I wish I could find a picture.

But to get back to the top 10 remaining, I think Will is the obvious favorite, especially considering how much the judges kiss his ass. Jessica has clearly been riding his coattails, and once they switch to individual voting, I bet she'll sink like a rock. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she's off next week. Also, has anyone else noticed how all the remaining girls are all perky & cute, girl-next-door types? Hmmm...suspicious.

For the girls, I think Chelsie is the frontrunner. I like Courtney a lot too, but I don't think she's as strong a dancer. I think she benefits a lot from good chemistry with Gev. For some reason Katee rubs me the wrong way, so I'm having a hard time rooting for her, even though as a rule, I always root for the Asians. ;) Still, her Bollywood routine this week was pretty awesome.

Boys: I'm still rooting for Twitch, but he's starting to be a little too cheesy for me. I've always really liked Mark, but I don't think he can win the whole thing. The quirkiness that attracts me probably repels too many others. And I'll admit, Will's crazy six-pack did make a strong impression the last couple weeks. If they keep having him dance shirtless, he's a cinch for the female vote (ooh, wish I had a pic of that too).

nerds

Um, no man or woman needs to go there

A little backstory: T grew up in Iowa, not far from a town called Riverside that has dubbed itself the "future birthplace of James T. Kirk." Yeah, like from Star Trek. Long story short, once a year they have a festival called Trek Fest. T claims that he's attended before, and that the highlight of the festival is the demolition derby, where you can "see guys dressed as Klingons and rednecks in the same place while watching cars smash into each other!"

I've never been to any kind of sci-fi or comic book convention, but I find the idea of it appealing, mostly because I think the people-watching end of it would be highly entertaining. So after years of listening to his hype about this place, it so happened that we're going to be in Iowa when this year's Trek Fest was happening. Unfortunately, we arrived too late to catch the demolition derby, but we thought it might be a kick to check it out the next night anyways. This year's fest was supposed to feature a visit from Walter Koenig, better known as Checkov! Exciting...I guess.

Well, my first tipoff that it was going to suck should have been when both T's brother and sister refused to come along. They were like, "Really? Why do you want to go there?" After some cajoling (as well as more jokes about Klingons from T), we finally convinced them to come. His sister was suckered in by the promise of a funnel cake, and his brother mainly just wanted to see the looks of disappointment on our faces once we saw how sucky it was. And boy, was it sucky.

Even by small-town carnival/festival standards, it was sad. I'll chalk some of it to the time of day we arrived (around 8pm), but there were hardly any people there: no one riding the rides, and maybe a dozen people tops near the mainstage, where they were charging $5 to get close enough to watch some anemic rock band perform. I had my camera and really wanted to take pictures, but quite frankly, I was intimidated. My sister-in-law and I split a funnel cake and a friend Snickers bar and then we all got the hell out of there. There's a river casino nearby, so we all went to check that out instead. We didn't stay there long either, but on our way out, we caught sight of a hand-painted sign for the Trek Fest that caused T to make a dramatic U-turn and pull over so he could get out and take a picture. Of course, I don't have my camera download cable with me, and there's no way a description could do the sign justice, so you'll have to bear with me till I get home. Let's just say, it was completely ridiculous and apropos of the situation.

Cuteness

It's nice to see that there are a few kids' show that doesn't make me want to jab hot needles into my eyes. Classical Baby on HBO Family is a big favorite in our house - way less annoying than Baby Einstein. In fact, it's so soothing that it sometimes makes me all drowsy and doze-y when E watches it. Hee-hee.

The newest hit around here is Jack's Big Music Show on Noggin. Another mommy-friend had mentioned it to me a few times, but E didn't seem interested in it until recently. As the title implies, it revolves around music, with a trio of puppets as the main characters, and then guest performances by real musicians. I thought I'd share this one since it's super catchy and cute and has been stuck in my head for over a week now.

Woefully behind

I know that I have yet to say much about this season of So You Think You Can Dance, but I only finally just got caught up via DVR a few days ago. Besides, no one is super invested in any one guy/gal just yet anyways. We need a couple more episodes for that. I will say though that I was disappointed that Rayven got knocked out in Week 1. I kinda dug her and she had a nice backstory too. And I was really happy to see Susie go last week. I dubbed her "Stripperella" as soon as I saw her in the audition phase. Let me just say, if she's really 24 or 25...well, then I guess I am too. She is a very...worn...looking 25, to put it nicely. T used a much less kind phrase which I won't repeat here. But we already know about Nigel's penchant for blondes, especially ones with big boobs.

Other than that, I also wanted to comment on the fact that the judging this year seems incredibly biased. I don't know why they have it out for Courtney and Gev, but man, are they harsh on them or what?! Also, yes, we get it, Will is an amazing GENIUS. Sheesh. Debbie Allen's not on anymore, stop kissing his ass. Also, there have been so many numbers that I thought were mediocre, but the judges raved about and vice versa. I have to say, makes me a bit suspicious.

There's also been more than a few routines that I already have to call bullshit on. First off, what's up with all the lame-ass hip hop routines? What happened to all the hard core stuff? Are we doomed to see an umbrella routine every week from now until the end of time to appeal to the middle-aged yuppies and their teeny-bopper children and sell tickets to the tour? Blech.

My faves so far are Twitch (of course) and Chelsea. Note that I favor those who have normal names, spelled in a normal manner. Adding extraneous E's and random silent H's to your name only makes me want to punch you in the face (yeah, I'm talking to you, Kherrington, Kourtni & Katee). Looking forward to tonight's show. Hopefully, I'll have a chance to watch it live for a change.

My new guilty pleasure

I think my reality guilty pleasure for this summer has got to be Celebrity Circus. When I first heard about it, I thought, "Eh, they're bringing back Circus of the Stars. Big whup." But then I saw a commercial in which Christopher Knight (aka Peter Brady) fell on his face while trying to roll in one of those giant metal wheels. Hilarious. And yes, I do now know that he broke his arm in that fall, and yes, it's still mostly funny.

For those of you that missed it, it's pretty much what you would think it is, except it has the nice added element of competition that seems to be a requirement for any reality show these days. It features 7 "celebrities," each performing a different act for a panel of judges and America's love.

I missed the breakdown of how the scoring and call-in stuff combines, but I'm going to assume it's similar to Dancing with the Stars. And much like DwtS, there's also a panel of circus "experts" that has a nice guy, a crazy Italian, and a saucy Brit. As we watched it, T once again lamented his inability to pull of a fakey British accent so he could be a judge on one of these shows.

The cast is pretty much your standard mix of former child stars, athlete(s) and over-the-hill celebrities looking to milk a few last drops of fame, and some of which have been on the reality circuit before. However, all that being said, I have to say, most of the stuff they had to do looked pretty hard. And safety wire or not, it definitely looked at least a little bit dangerous. I'll note though that T remained unconvinced, saying that he thought the "safety" wire was really suspending them in some cases and making it easier. Whatever.

Of the 7, right now I'd say my picks are: Antonio Sabato Jr., who still looks pretty hot even though he's got to be kind of old now (ETA: ok, I just looked him up on IMDB and he's only 36), and did a good job of making his little flying scarf dealie look easy. Also, Janet Evans gets my vote just by sheer fact of having the most rock-hard abs I've ever seen, especially considering she had a baby 18 months ago. Um yeah, I have a 15-month old and let me tell you, I don't look anything like that.

Oh, and how could I forget? The show is hosted by none other than Joey Fat-one. Glad to see another DwtS alum finding work. Joey has managed to parlay his dancing into quite the little reality career between this, the Singing Bee show that was on last year, and another dancing show he's co-hosting with Mel B. that's coming out on TLC soon. This leads me to wonder, how can I get on Dancing with the Stars? I could use a cush reality hosting job.

All is right with the world

Congratulations to Stephanie, the hometown winner! Lisa can suck it. That is all.

shameless plug

I'm up way too late and bored, but not quite ready for bed, so I thought I'd mention this Bzz Agent thing I just started doing. Basically, it's a program where you sign up to be a part of marketing campaigns and talk about the stuff the send you. I don't get any money for it, just free stuff. And the "Bzz" doesn't necessarily have to suck up and be glowing, if you know what I mean.

However, that being said, I recently got on my first campaign, which was for these Back to Nature brand nuts and trail mixes. I got a box with a bunch of snack packs in it, and I have to say, they were quite yummy. I liked that the nuts were roasted without extra oil, so they weren't super greasy, and they were lightly salted, but not drowning in salt. Yum!

Words fail me.

I thought that I'd have more to say after sleeping on it, but Lisa making it to the final three...I still can't believe it. She is so awful. I told my sister-in-law last night that I hope she's like Wendy Pepper in season one of Project Runway; she clearly didn't deserve to be in the finals based on talent and everyone knew it, including the judges, who dismissed her pretty quickly.

If Richard or Stephanie don't win this, then there is something seriously wrong with this show.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I saw a commercial for Hell's Kitchen last night and thought, "oh yeah, is this show still on?" I still don't really get the timing of when they started this season. It's usually a summer show, and I know Fox was probably hurting for new content after the strike ended, but I don't think I've watched even one full episode, so I couldn't care less now that they're down to the final five. I know Top Chef is on cable, but why in the world would they go up against it? It only makes their show look all the more pathetic. If they'd used even the tiniest bit of common sense, they would've started Hell's Kitchen NOW. I probably would've watched it. I'd feel dirty about it, but I would've have watched anyways just to get my fix of cooking and crappy reality.

And no, I won't be watching the Next Food Network Star. That show is beyond awful. The whole debacle last season with the guy who lied about his resume...lame.

Really?

Do we really need yet another dance show? Particularly one that's hosted by yet another former Dancing with the Stars contestant? When they put out the call for hosts, is "must have competed on a dance show but otherwise have no dancing expertise" a requirement?

I saw a commercial the other night for a new show coming on TLC called "Master of Dance" where basically, they have people come on and do the routines from various famous songs/videos. It actually looks like it could be entertaining, but man, I'm just burned out on dancing shows. Between DwtS, America's Best Dance Crew, Step It Up and Dance (which I totally abandoned in its lame-osity and only watch on repeats at like 2am when nothing else is on), and now the return of So You Think You Can Dance, I just don't have room in my brain for another show.

Speaking of SYTYCD, I have to admit, I'm not as juiced up about this season as I have been in the past. Normally, my sister-in-law and I furiously exchange texts during the shows and pick our favorites, but this year we both sort of didn't realize it was on. Maybe it's just the auditions, which have become kind of predictible and repetitive, if not downright lame. Yes, we know, you're some whack-job wearing a silly outfit who thinks that you're a stud...next! OK, another badass popper who won't be able to make it through choreography...next! It's all getting kind of old. I'm hoping that the Vegas round is more entertaining.

Six of one, half dozen of the other

I thought about titling this "Goodbye to another Ugly Hat man," but I have to say I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. Spike is gone. And deservedly so. But now that means that Lisa is in the finals. Ridiculous. As the episode got down to those last few minutes, I was really really wishing that they'd just ax both of them. I am so sick of even looking at Lisa...but Spike's smart mouth (well, those scallops were in your walk-in...gah!), not to mention idiotic choice of the aforementioned frozen scallops...blech. I'm really really happy to see that Stefanie and Richard made it into the finals. I think it's going to come down to those two, unless one or both of them managed to choke big time at the end, which I hate to admit, may happen with Stefanie. I love her because she seems like such a nice Midwestern girl, but sometimes she does some goofy shit. For some reason, I'm just not a big fan of Antonia. Something about her...it just puts me off. Honestly, I think this contest is Richard's to lose, much like Hung last year.

I also have to mention that I really like how this season, they've done more challenges that were about basic skills. Butchering meat was an excellent idea for a quickfire, especially in Chicago. I'll confess, we spent maybe 15 minutes talking about butchering when I was in cooking school (they gave us some lame excuse that it's rare to need that skill), so I can't butcher a damn thing. But I totally wish that I could.

ARRRGGHHH!!!

I cannot believe that Dale got eliminated!! I'm too upset to say much more than that.

....

Ok, I'll concede that as the Exec Chef, he deserved to take the fall. I can't believe that he was dumb enough to volunteer to be the leader of what was obviously going to be a tremendous train wreck. I think I despise Lisa more than ever now. I can't believe that (barring an even bigger catastrophe) either she or Spike are going to be in the final four. Erg.

I must be a glutton for punishment

I opened an account with Chase bank today. Again. I know, I have to be crazy after all I went through with them last time. For those that have no idea what I'm talking about, I had an account with them many years ago and had numerous BIG problems caused by errors on their part which cost me all sorts of fees; my ensuing hatred and crazy rants sort of inspired my original bitchyasiangirl website - which I'm hoping to get back up one of these days.

In the end though, the lure of free money was too much to resist. T & I had been talking for a while about each getting accounts to keep our own separate "mad money." So last month, we got an ad in the mail from Chase offering $100 to open an account. T went and opened his a few weeks ago. I've been bogged down with the child, so it took me till today to be able to go over on my own to open mine. And of course, what I thought would be a simple, 'here's the money, open the account, sign here please' transaction turned into 40 minutes of my "personal banker" trying to sell me every product under the sun. No, I don't need another rewards credit card. No, I'm not interested in re-financing my house. No, I don't need a savings account that gives me 0.5% interest on my lousy few hundred bucks. Sheesh.

We'll see how badly they screw me over this time around. Worse comes to worse, I guess I made a hundred bucks out of it.

My new favorite Japanese game show

And yes, I do have more than one! I never thought that I'd find a show more ridiculous than Ninja Warrior. But then (from the same producers) along came Unbeatable Banzuke! Oh my gosh, this show is freaking AWESOME! Whoever comes up with this stuff is either insane or a genius or both. And the person at G4 who finds these shows - also a genius.

So the premise is pretty simple. There's a list of events and people compete in individual events for a spot on the "Banzuke" or list of champions. The events are insane and most of them involve doing some sort of obstacle course. My favorites include the Hand Walk, Bamboo Derby (walking on stilts), and Kangaroo (pogo stick). And when I say obstacle course, I'm not talking about just bopping along a little race course. There are some serious obstacles. In the Bamboo Derby, there's a very fast conveyor belt, which also has little hurdles that have to be stepped over. And in one of the Hand Walk courses (there are several), there's 30-degree inclines and water hazards!

The most hilarious part of all this is the contestants. Some of them are super hardcore: 50-year-old men who've been walking on stilts for 40 years. And some of them are just morons off the street who thought that it'd be easy to use a pogo stick. It makes for some hilarious hi-jinks.

There's also some other, more interesting challenges, like Daruma 7, where the contestant has to use a big hammer to knock out a stack of drums from bottom to top without toppling the "daruma" figure on top. Or Ottoto 9, which involves balancing a pole on your palm. Super weird. As my mom would say, "Oh those Japanese - they think of everything!"

It's about frickin' time!

Let's just cut to the chase. Nikki is finally gone! Hooray! I'm sorry, but she was clearly the most useless person, not just in last night's episode but in at least the last 2 or 3 episodes. All she's done is talk about how she's Italian and she makes comfort food, and then when the judges don't like her stuff, she says that she's not doing it for them, she's cooking "for the people." Pfft...whatever! Something about her has just always rubbed me the wrong way, and her food was never spectacular. Goodbye, you won't be missed. (And before you get your panties all in a bunch, no it's not a real mugshot - it's from some lame event.)

I think T is planning on writing another "guest blog" but in the meantime, here are my thoughts. Last night's episode was pretty entertaining. I liked the idea of doing Wedding Wars instead of Restaurant Wars. It's a pretty mean bait & switch to pull though. Catering a wedding is really nothing like working in a restaurant, and to have to pull an all-nighter with no warning - rough. Especially having to make wedding cakes.

Nikki's team had disaster written all over it from the start. You just knew that Dale was going to clash with everyone. And he had every right. Most of those people were morons. I mean, they took what should have been a super easy theme (Italian food) and totally screwed it up. And not to keep bashing Nikki, but way to step up as leader. I mean, if you're connecting with the customer on what he's into, and you have the most experience with the type of food he wants, then WHY would you shirk the leader role? Again, have you not watched this show ever? I understand not wanting to take the bullet if things go south, but you'd at least get props for taking on the challenge! When she flat-out said, "I was not the lead in this effort" at Judges' Table, my jaw about hit the floor. I think you could see the shock and disappointment emanating from Tom's bald head.

Maybe I have a soft spot for Dale since he's Asian and from Chicago, but I think he was a bit unnecessarily villainized by his teammates too. There was a lot of grumbling about how he was doing things wrong or whatever, but no one actually wanted to step up and correct him or offer to take over. I hate that attitude. It's like when you're trying to decide with a group of people what to do on a Friday night, and someone sits there in the corner and says nothing while the decisions are being made, but then once you get to the bar, they're like, "This place sucks. Why'd we come here? I wanted to go to this other place." Well why the hell didn't you say so? It's so easy to complain about decisions after they've already been made.

I thought the smacktalk between Dale & HatBeard was dumb. I understand that at this point, they'd probably all been up for well over 36 hours, so tempers were flaring. And much as I like Dale, it's obvious that his fuse is shorter than most. Punching the locker because they lost the Quickfire...kinda pathetic. But I do think HatBeard was just baiting him. In case I haven't mentioned it before, he REALLY annoys me. Way to cover up for your own lack of work by trying to point the finger at the guy who did the most. Yeah, that made sense. For once, Lisa did the smart thing at Judges' Table and just kept her mouth shut. She knew that her cake, ugly as it was, was going to keep her out of harm's way, and chiming in on their pissy little fight was only going to draw unnecessary attention to herself. Of course, I wonder if part of the reason that she didn't say anything was because she'd fallen asleep standing up. She looked exhausted! Way more so than her teammates, almost to a scary degree.

Not a lot of comments about the other team. It was another lovefest, led by once again by Richard, who I'm begrudgingly beginning to like and root for. I'm with T about the faux-hawk though - it's lame and needs to go. I did think it was pretty cool of him to share his win with Stephanie. And I guess TweakBeard must not have packed enough speed in his bag that day because he was strangely quiet through most of the episode. Although his comment about the "culinary boner"...well, I could've done without that.

A funny conversation

I keep telling T that he needs to get his own blog. He refuses, usually under the guise of either that he does not have enough time (but he has time for multiple fantasy baseball leagues), or that no one but me finds him funny. Both of these are untrue. I think the real reason is that he just prefers to make fun of my blogging efforts, even though he secretly longs to blog. So in the meantime, I thought I'd share an exchange we had last night which cracked me up, and then the follow-up this morning.

We were talking about the new Indiana Jones movie coming out in a few weeks, and specifically, how we're both pretty excited to see it, even though it's been 10 years since the last one. There was a minor discussion on which of the first three we'd seen more, etc., and then T ended it with, "I don't care if it's 2 hours of Indiana Jones drinking coffee, I'd still pay $10 to see it." I laughed at this for a solid 5 minutes, with the occasional giggle returning every few minutes for a while after.

There was also some discussion about the X-Files movie coming out this summer, to which we had pretty much the opposite feelings about. I mean, come on. Is anyone but the most die-hard fanboy nerds actually excited for this? It's not like David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson's careers have taken off like rockets since the last one came out. Anyways, so T & I are both going on about this (although I don't know why, since we're both in total agreement with one another) and then T goes, "What's next, '227 - the Movie'? I hear Jackee is looking for work."


Ok, both of these little tidbits may not be anything more than mildly amusing to anyone but me, but then there was this exchange this morning, over email, which started with his throwaway line at the end:

T: 227 - The Movie. Think about it! It could be awesome. Me: I'd rather think about Indiana Jones and the Steaming Cup of Coffee... T:

-- close up on Indiana Jones' face --

Indy: (tired voice, deathly serious) "I'd need some joe."

-- cut to show barrista --

Middle eastern cryptic looking guy working at Starbucks: (slight accent, wearing a turban) "Vente?"

Indy: "Yeah, that's right, vente." (focus on Indy's chin scar, Indy rubs it while reminiscing of past coffee drinking)

---cut to slow pan out: Indy reading Wall Street Journal in dusty leather jacket and hat, whip attached to belt --

Barrista: "Indiana!"

Indy: (goes to counter to fetch coffee, walks as if very sore all over, gravelly voice) "Yeah, that's right.....thanks." (tips $2 in "karma" mug with rainbows on the side)

-- fade to black --

.

.

.

.

-- Screen is black. Very slow pan out. We realize that the "black screen" is actually one of the darkened spaces on Jones' NY Times crossword. As we pan out, some scone crumbs fall onto the paper out of the corner of his mouth.

Indy: (to himself, mumbling) "Flightless bird....three letters....is it 'emu'?"

-- (this continues for 90 minutes) --

Worldwide gross: 800 million dollars

OK, someone tell me that wasn't funny!

Oh VH1, is this really where you want to go?

I used to love VH1's "Celebreality" lineup. Celebrity Fit Club, Flavor of Love, the Surreal Life...they all used to be excellent guilty pleasure viewing. But I think I have to give up. I watched about 10 minutes of "CelebraCadabra" the other day. Yes, the name was pretty confusing to me to at first. My first thought was that it had something to do with cadavers. But no, it's actually yet another group of half-assed D-list washed up has-beens competing in a reality show to become, wait for it...magicians. Yes. I don't think I need say any more.

This, combined with the atrocity that is "I Know My Kid is a Star" and Flavor of Love 17 or whatever version they're on now, it's all just too much. I like manufactured drama, but this is just taking it too far.

In fact, since the writers' strike ended and all the scripted shows have come back, I can't say that there's anything I'm over the moon about. A lot of my usual favorites have ranged from being a bit lackluster to downright disappointing. Two big examples? How I Met Your Mother and The Office. HIMYM used to consistently make me laugh, but lately, it's just kind of meh. I think all the stuntcasting is starting to overshadow the plot (as a sidenote, I was really happy to hear NPH speak out about this). And the recent Barney slept with Robin plotline is just plain dumb. I'm also getting really sick of the drawn out tease of who is the "mother" and the up and down of Ted & Robin. It's like they wrote themselves into a corner from day one. No one really wants to see another Ross & Rachel.

The Office, on the other hand, has just veered off into being out and out weird. Their first episode back was set almost entirely in Jan & Michael's condo, which seemed like an odd choice to me. I mean, it's funny once in a while when they go on "field trips" but I think the show is at its funniest when it revolves around The Office. However, that being said, I did think it was kind of funny all the stuff that came to light about Jan & Michael's relationship, even if it was only funny in that painfully awkward way that I normally hate.

The only show that I've been genuinely still looking forward to each week is 30 Rock. This is easily the craziest show on TV, but in a good way. I think they've done a really good job of keeping it zany. I loved it last week when Liz sold out and went corporate. Although, where's Jenna? She's barely been on the last few episodes.

Looking forward to more Top Chef tonight. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that one of the Idiot twins bites it.

Top Chef recap

I've been too busy to post my thoughts on Top Chef lately (although, in a nut shell, good riddance to Zoi and Ryan, even though Nikki clearly deserved to get the hatchet last week). Besides being out of town last week, T & I have also gotten sucked into Battlestar Galactica lately...but that's for another post. So since T is usually full of pithy remarks while we watch the show, I thought I'd put him to work as a guest blogger. Enjoy.

T here – I felt the need to ring in on the topic of tonight’s episode of Top Chef. I was making some snide comments during the show and M put me to the task of writing for one of her several blogs. I won’t even get into the fact that my wife has so many blogs that she has to subcontract out the blogging labor. Let’s get right to the show.

At this point on the show, we can now separate the chaff from the wheat and it is becoming clear who the front runners are. The chefs definitely in the lead are Male Mohawk, Dale, and Stephanie (curly haired Chicago chick). On the bottom are Skinny Brunette, Antonia, The Kiwi and Eyebrow Ring. Somewhere in the middle are the Two Guys That Look Exactly The Same (But One Wears A Hat) and Lesbian Mohawk.

The quick fire challenge is to make dessert. Every year they do this at some point on the show. Every year half the chefs bitch about the fact they never make dessert. This year a few actually figured out they should show up for this reality TV show with at least one good dessert recipe. And surprise! the chefs that did not do well on the challenge were the same ones bitching about now pastry has nothing to do with being a chef. My patience for the complainers on this show is wearing thin.

Male Mohawk wins the challenge with one of the several chocolate and banana dishes. Mostly nothing too exciting was created in the quick fire, but he won with ingenuity of making bananas look like scallops. He also is kind enough to tell the folks at home that he is witty. He then pats himself the back and kisses himself in the mirror. How am I so goddamn sweet?!? Man that Mohawk is looking good! So again he has immunity. He is not going anywhere and a virtual lock for the final four right now.

Then of course the “fun” event comes up and the chefs have no idea they are walking into a trap. This is reality TV! There is no escape from the cameras, there is no relaxing. Somehow this has escaped them all and they are worried about what blazer to wear to look fly at Second City . The hatted Bearded Retard Twin probably took 20 minutes picking out his “on the town” headwear.

Surprise! Those audience members yelling out stuff are designing your dish to improvise! I was astounded that the chefs were not yelling out ingredients themselves….tofu and Polish Sausage aren’t exactly the most exciting of things to cook for an elimination challenge. Why didn’t you yell out something? Wake up!

They draw numbers and end up in teams. The most predictable yet fascinating outcome here is the Retard Twins pairing up so they can rub their red beards together when no one is looking. Dale and Male Mohawk are paired up and probably the strongest team, then Stephanie and Female Mohawk might be next. The other teams are Antonia and Eyebrow Ring (doomed) and Skinny Brunette and The Kiwi (unimpressive).

The Retard Twins clearly offer the most comedy value. They decide to make squash soup for “Yellow Vanilla Love”. The Hatted Twin has been talking about squash soup for what seems like weeks. They think they are each pretty cool and maybe their counterpart Twin might be 2nd coolest of the group in their minds. This show started with two lesbians, but these guys seem to be pretty gay for each other. They are very proud of themselves and their squash soup, despite not having any food processors to get through the disk (improv! you crazy Top Chef producers). I’d like to thank Bravo for not showing these guys making out in the back room and telling each other how awesome each other is.

Dale and Male Mohawk are the front runners, despite having the toughest draw with “Perplexed Green Tofu”. They are so clearly the most creative and skilled chefs on the show it isn’t even funny. They have this nutso idea of making the tofu taste like beef, which sounded insane and risky but these guys are the only ones that could possibly pull it off. The tasting table clearly loved it.

Stephanie and Female Mohawk get into the “Sexy Orange Asparagus” which sounded like a fun dish and they really worked hard to make it look phallic and had fun with it. Seemed like they worked hard on the dish, but it was pretty busy. Their delivery of the dish went over well but Colicchio clearly hated it. Trouble.

The most amazing thing of this challenge was that Antonia and Eyebrow turned “Magenta Drunken Polish Sausage” and ended up serving fish with chorizo over purple potatoes. It drives me insane when people completely ignore the rules of the challenge and make whatever they want and then claim that they are an artist, or in the case of this challenge look at how they improv’ed! I will ignore the rules! I am creative! I will ignore Polish Sausage! I will bring out tequila shots for myself but not the judges! These guys are idiots and are trying very hard to make America hate them.

The Kiwi and the Skinny Chick made something; I don’t remember what it was and it seemed like they were largely edited out. Clearly in the middle of the pack. I want to like The Kiwi due to the afro and the accent (and the fact that I know a Kiwi that has both of these attributes as well and is one of the craziest guys I have ever met) but he seems like kind of a dumbass.

The winners were Dale and MaleHawk and the Soup Twins. No major surprise there except for the hatted Twin was now on chapeau #6 while he bared his soul about how his mother said the mark of a good chef was being able to make a simple soup….didn’t the judges say the exact same thing an episode or two ago? What a kiss ass. I can’t wait to see the fedora he rolls out next week. Dale wins the challenge, and rightfully so. He’s solid and also a virtual lock for the top three or four.

Steph and LezHawk, along with Antonia and BrowRing are the losers. The only really talent in the bottom four this week is Steph so me and M are hoping that she doesn’t get cut in some bullshit way like Tre last season. I figure there is no way the Fish for Sausage team doesn’t lose but I was wrong and LezHawk gets cut. Slight surprise, but she clearly wasn’t going to make it much farther than this anyway. She went on to say that chefs need to “give 1000%” which I find so disgusting that I’m very happy she is gone. I am an admitted math nerd and hate it whenever someone says they have to give more than 100%, but more than the mathematical reason, and the fact that it is freakin’ impossible to give more than “all”, it just makes people sound so stupid. On par with mixed metaphors or saying things like “it’s a mute point”, “irregardless” or saying “literally” for emphasis. No reason for it. These people are what is wrong with America . Good riddance.

Thanks for letting me vent and occupy space on M’s blog. We’re huge Top Chef fans and while this season doesn’t seem as strong as last, the drama levels do seem pretty high. I hope y’all enjoyed my commentary. Don’t look for me on the crafty blog as the most creative thing I can make is an egg sandwich. Peace out! -T

Ok, I have to add a few comments. First off, I have about an equal amount of hatred as T for Richard and the Idiot Twins. I enjoyed Hung's cockiness last season, but Richard is just over the top with his smug, "I'm so clever" attitude. Also, I fail to understand how making bananas look like sea scallops can be considered inspired. Let's see, cut banana into rounds...done.

And the other two...I'm not sure I even want to get started. Hat Twin is annoying because of the ever-changing hat rotation. His personality isn't exactly winning him points either. The digs at the lesbians seem to be a little unnecessary too. The other Idiot Twin is so freaking twitchy I can barely watch him. I swear, he's tweaking on speed.

I'm also endlessly annoyed when the cheftestants complain and make assumptions about how this or that can't possibly taste good, or that the judges are simply WRONG in their opinions. I'm sorry, but no one's paying you for your opinion. And while I think that Ted Allen's culinary qualifications are a bit dubious, he's still probably more qualified than you.

And this is what I don't like about living in Texas...

I turned on the air conditioning today for the first time this year, and I don't see it going off again for a while. I was really really hoping to make it to at least May, but well...I caved. It was just too humid today for me to deal. Last year, we turned on the a/c in April and it stayed on through at least September and part of October even. Argh.

I actually just got back from California (Bay Area) and I have to say, I sooooo wish we could live there instead.

A Top Chef Birthday

One episode in and I'm already hooked! Although I'll confess, I'm a little bit predisposed to like any show set in Chicago and seeing the montage of the city in the beginning made me miss living in a real city all the more.

It's always hard to pick out favorites this early in the game. There's just too many people for them to focus on more than 2-3, and they obviously skew the "story" quite a bit. About 10 minutes into the show, I turned to T and said, I bet Nimma's out. For one thing, it's never a good sign when someone decides the first night that they're going to bed when everyone else is drinking champagne because they're "not here to make friends." I had a feeling she was going to be the weepy isolationist and I wasn't too far off.

Then, the first quickfire. First of all, I was a little disappointed by the quickfire. Making a deep dish pizza was a little lame; yeah, you're at Uno's, could you be more predictable? And on the scale of difficulty, pizza ranks pretty low. I mean, last year, they had to make dishes out of the buffet without knives! Despite the ease, some of the cheftestants managed to find a way to screw it up. Good gravy people, even if you've never eaten a deep dish pizza in your life, you had to know not to fill the whole damn pan with dough! Come on! You have had pizza before, right?

Nimma popped up again (in a bad way) with her underseasoned pizza. OK, I'm going to kick into culinary school food snob mode here for a moment. Underseasoning your food is like, THE lamest, most amateur rookie mistake there is. It is something that is pounded into your head over and over and over again in cooking school. At my school, underseasoning a dish was a major loss of points. I also just went and looked at her bio, and she went to the freaking CIA! She definitely should've known better. Then she had to go and overcompensate by OVERseasoning her dish in the Elimination Challenge. All I could do was shake my head. Again, amateur time. And that cauliflower flan thing....egad. Even if that part had turned out, her dish looked and sounded sooooo boring. A shame, because there's a million things you could do with shrimp scampi.

I've also got to freak out momentarily over the two people who ended up having to make souffles. Ok, again, basic stuff if you have been to culinary school! Not to mention that if I knew I was going on this show, I would have spent weeks memorizing and practicing baking any and everything I could think of. Time and again, people have gotten slammed for tanking a simple dessert. A souffle is really not that complicated for people operating at this level of the game, and the guy who dumped all the crap on top of his souffle? I was speechless.

As far as the cheftestants go, so far, T has a soft spot for the Kiwi, but I think it's only because he reminds T of his friend from New Zealand (aptly nicknamed, Kiwi). That guy, I think his name is Spike? He already annoys the crap out of me. When he said "Padma was like, Casa, m*f*s!" I could only turn to T, slack-jawed. I am also thoroughly over anyone who is into "molecular gastronomy." Seriously people, move on. Ferran Adria has. So should you.

The only guy I like so far is Erik, and that's only because if he wins, he wants to take the money and open a hut on the beach in Hawaii. Sweet.

Oh, and last but not least, I have to comment that the fact that Anthony Bourdain and Rocco DiSpirito were on the same judging panel together cracked me up to no end! If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go back and read some of Bourdain's blogs from last season. He is waaaay harsh on Rocco (and deservedly so after that whole debacle with The Restaurant). It's hilarious. I'm really hoping that he blogs again this season.

I'm already looking forward to next week!

Christian's collection was, say it with me now...

FIERCE!

Totally not my style at all, so even if I was skinny enough to wear any of it, I probably wouldn't, but then again, who's to say what I'd wear if I were skinny enough? But I digress. So Christian was the big winner of this season's Project Runway, and despite the fact that he's a cocky little bastard, he totally deserved it. I thought his collection was really cohesive and just enough 'out there,' if that makes any sense. Rami's collection was good too, but I think some of it was just a little off the mark. But that woven dress was AMAZING. I wish I had the body to wear that! And maybe someplace to wear it too.

Now we just have the long countdown till the next season begins (insert single tear here). Although it helps a little that Top Chef starts this week, and in my hometown, no less! Woohoo!

The cow says...

In case it's not already obvious, I spend a lot of time around kids and kids' stuff these days. I don't post much about it because I know how old it can get to hear someone go on and on about every little darling thing their baby genius does when you don't have kids yourself. But every so often, I come across something that is worth mentioning.

Today, I had to take E to the doctor (for what turned out to be just a cold - but that's a whole other story), and while we were waiting in the exam room, we dug through the small bin of crappy toys that they keep around. Normally, I wouldn't really let her play with stuff that's probably got some latent plague germs festering on it, but she was pretty unhappy about being there and honestly, I'm just not that much of a germophobe to where I was willing to put my foot down.

The toy that E seemed to focus on was some kind of old See n' Say. For those of you who aren't around kids much, yes, they still make See n' Says, although they are a little bit different from the ones we had as kids (I had the alphabet one above when I was little). Most of the newfangled ones have a lever to pull now, instead of a string. And they are also a lot smaller. No, really, they are. It doesn't just seem that way because we're bigger. Some of them have a little flap that flips back and forth to change things up, but they are otherwise pretty much the same. The one pictured at right is what we currently have, purchased for a whopping $1 from another mom.

This particular toy that E found today was totally different though from your standard See n' Say. It was shaped like a house and had a series of wide buttons in a circle which I think are supposed to light up when you push them. I have to assume here because there were no batteries in it. So anyways, the odd thing about this toy was what was on the buttons. Some of them were pretty standard: kitten, dog, bird. But then there were four with pictures of kids on them. One was of a little boy in a suit and glasses talking on a cellphone. Heh? Then there was a picture of a little girl, also in some sort of suit, carrying a boombox. What? I'm dying to know what they "say" when you push the button. The other kids were in more "kid-like" clothes and doing things like, licking a lollipop.

I figure that toy's probably been kicking around the doctor's office for years, so I'm sure they don't make it anymore. Still, I did a Google search, hoping to find a picture of it somewhere, but no such luck. I did however find this interesting little article on How See n' Says Work, just in case any of you are curious.