Disgusted

I've never made any bones about being a reality-tv whore, but even I have reached the point of total disgust, particularly with VH1. I mean, Daisy of Love...ok, we knew it was coming - Daisy is like the walking, talking cartoon caricature embodiment of every guy's adolescent wet-dream. But I watched the first episode and realized I simply couldn't stomach this round, particularly if I was going to have to tolerate her "singing." I have to mention though, I did catch T watching an episode yesterday and without her makeup? Yeesh, not pretty. Or rather, even more ghoulish than with the clown-whore makeup.

After 2 rounds each of Flavor of Love, I Love New York, and Rock of Love (I couldn't make it through the third outings), I'm just done with the celebrity+freak Bachelor format. Which is why I was all the more disgusted last night when I happened to stumble across the "preview" commercial for their new show featuring that iditotic gold-digging camera-whore, Megan, from Rock of Love 2. They actually built gold-digging into the premise by enlisting supposed millionaires as the contestants vying for her "love." And by "love," I actually mean the occasional lay and faked orgasm in exchange for some sort of shiny bauble because I'm fairly certain that she has a cash register in her chest where her heart should be.

I really wonder where they found millionaires who are so hard up they can't get gold-digging whores on their own? If I could actually bring myself to watch the show, it would only be with the secret hope that there would a crazy twist, in which after choosing her millionaire mate and professing her "love," it would be revealed that the guys were all hobos & bums rounded up from the local trainyard.

In other shows that I will never ever watch, I've pretty much taken a pass on all the other garbage that's on VH1 these days: Charm School, The T.O. Show, New York does a snuff film, whatever. I'm over it. I also really wish I'd never even seen the commercials for Fox's latest entry in reality dating freakshows, More to Love. I suppose it's a step up from The Littlest Groom. But blech, I can't even comment beyond that.

I don't normally read or comment on tabloid gossip and such, but since I'm already on a reality show rant, I have to say that it's been hard to avoid the whole Jon & Kate Plus 8 furor. I have to say, the whole thing makes me so sad. I used to really love that show with all the cute hapa kids. And even though they seemed to have their flaws as a couple, you used to get the sense that Jon & Kate did really love each other. But now...egad, what a train wreck, and not the good kind either.

Obviously those poor kids are going to suffer the most (especially the older girls), but I'm actually starting to feel pretty sorry for Kate. I don't care what kind of over-controlling shrew she was, it's a pretty douchebag move for Jon to be out gallavanting around with a series of 20-something girls just a few weeks after filing for divorce. I mean, have a little bit of respect for the mother of your children, man! Or if nothing else, think about how this is going to look to your kids, who get to see your asshole face on E! and Extra and hear about how you're smoking cigs on a yacht with Christian Audigier. Asshole. If this guy seriously ends up with his own reality show like I've been hearing, I'm going to have to firebomb the station that airs that garbage.

On the flip side, I have to confess my new guilty pleasure is Miami Social on Bravo. Yes, I know the people on it are all pathetically self-absorbed and obsessed with being hot and in (despite the fact that, let's face it, they're all kinda old to be considered either), but I can't help myself. It's the train wreck factor, but without any of the pretense of a contest or being "housewives" or whatever. My favorite has to be Michael, who seems so so lacking in self-awareness that it'd be sad if it weren't so funny. His whole "feud" with Ariel could not smack more of jealousy and sexual tension. I especially love how he thinks he so fabulous when he really looks just like every other short, balding gay guy I've ever met.

Three-fer

Last night marked the real return of So You Think You Can Dance! Hooray! But then the stupid local news decided that the weather was newsworthy enough to preempt the first hour of the show. Boooo! I managed to catch most of the second half live, but then I had to dig around a bit today to find last night's episode online, so forgive the delay.

Anyways, it was your pretty standard first show with the top 20. Most of the dances were good, but not great, and the judges were pretty positive across the board (although they were pretty hard on Tony and Paris, neither of whom I thought deserved to make it to the top 20 anyways, so meh). I almost think it's like even though they clearly have their favorites, they don't want to tip the scales too much...yet. I sometimes wonder if Mary Murphy sits up at night and comes up with new and annoying ways to come up with "fake-out" praise. Like, "hmmm, how can I pretend to hate something and then turn around and reveal that I totally love it?" Ugh. And I also cannot STAND Adam Shankman. Besides the fact that he's a smarmy little sycophant, the amount of self-promotion he does for projects that he maybe shouldn't be so proud of...it's just disgusting.

And while I'm at it, can I also bitch a little bit about how disappointed I am that they seem to have watered down the genres so much the last couple seasons? I really like Tabitha and Napoleon, but most of what they choreograph really just does not scream "hip-hop" to me, especially that lite-rock shit. And even the ballroom/latin stuff has so many silly storylines and so much mugging that it's often unrecognizable. One of the things I always loved in the first few seasons was that they held people to these strict standards of fox trot, cha-cha, etc.

Anyways. Tony & Paris got sent home. Whatevs. I was certain from the start that Tony wouldn't make it past the first episode. And Paris always rubbed me the wrong way. Something about the beauty queen thing, I guess. I think so far, I'm rooting for Asuka, Jason and of course, Phillip.

Part 2 - Top Chef Masters! I've been crazy excited about this ever since I started seeing commercials a couple months ago. I absolutely LOVE the idea of getting top notch chefs in a competition together, although I'm a little bummed that it's more of a bracket-style setup rather than 20 crazy egos in one room. Last night's episode did not dissapoint, although I think it was almost a given that Hubert Keller would win. He was so clearly head and shoulders above the other guys.

I should also mention that I've looked at the bio page for the contestants on Bravo's website and it's a pretty interesting mix of people. There are a bunch of chefs who are pretty famous and/or have been guest judges on TC in the past, and then there are a bunch who seem a little bit like filler. I have to wonder how they cast the show and how they determined who was going to compete against whom in the first round. I mean, was there ever a chance we would have seen Keller, Bayless, and Dufresne on the same show? I doubt it. I also think it's interesting how there's a certain amount of cannibalization between Top Chef and Iron Chef America. It make sense from a certain standpoint since there are only so many top quality chefs who are also camera-ready. I wonder how execs at Bravo & Food Network feel about it though.

I'm impressed that they managed to get Gael Greene as a judge, although I'm not particularly a fan of the other two guys. The Saveur editor has a nice pedigree on paper, but on screen he's just annoying. And the other guy seems to want to be the next Toby, but isn't quite there either.

I do miss Tom Collichio though and I'm hoping he makes an appearance at some point. And the jury is still out on Kelly Choi. She's definitely more animated than Padma, who always seems like she's on a nice mellow Valium trip, but she occasionally makes this weird face that sorta bugs me - almost like she's smelled something foul. And couldn't they find someone who's NOT a stick-thin formal model?! I know, nitpicking. But I'm definitely looking forward to next week's episode, with Wylie Dufresne. Should be interesting.

Last, but not least, to complete this reality TV 3-fer, we have The Fashion Show. Yes, I'm still watching this train wreck. Like I've said before, it's all I've got until Project Runway comes back in August. I will say though, they do a great job with their challenges. I think they've all been very interesting and well, challenging, but without going into crazytown, like with the PR where they had to make clothes out of garbage.

In any case, I was sad that Angel got the boot tonight. She was one of the few people I actually sorta liked on the show, even though her clothes were kind of a disaster. But everyone else on that show is just such a catty, egotistical bitch that it's almost unbearable. I used to sort of like Reco, but his ego is way way out of control. As is Daniela's, who I despise with the burning fire of a thousand suns. There's something about know-it-all 23-year-olds that just totally chaps my ass.

I'm also beyond annoyed that Johnny is still there since not only is he phoning it in (and doing it poorly), but his whole "I can't sew" deal is getting way way WAY old. I was happy that Merlin won tonight though. He seemed like he was losing a little bit of his strut (as evidenced by the lack of jaunty hats of late) and I think it was a good confidence boost. I'm sure it'll totally go to his head and be totally annoying next week.

Oh and one last gripe: can I just say how freaking FURIOUS I was last week when everyone was bitching and moaning over having to work with "real" women? It's shit like that that makes me want to burn down department stores and join a nudist colony so I can hang out with old fat hippies. Ok, just had to get that out of my system.

It ain't PR...

Yes, this is a week late. I'm sure there have been a thousand other blog posts about it already, but I couldn't help but weigh in with my quick 2 cents on Bravo's blatant Project Runway knock-off, The Fashion Show. For those that have been living under a rock, after the obligatory litigation and settlement, Project Runway has flown the coop for Lifetime and the last season (filmed last winter) won't be airing until late summer. Booo....hisss...

In it's place, Bravo has come up with The Fashion Show, which pits 15 designers against one another for a cash prize, furnished as usual by one of their generous and shamelessly plugged sponsors.

So after one episode, the good: I love Isaac Mizrahi, always have. I think he's an excellent choice for host/judge. I also like the format, which involves a "quickfire" type challenge, as well as a live fashion show filled with industry types.

The meh: I'm not really sure who these "industry types" they have in the audience are. I'm guessing that people who have the time and inclination to participate in a show every week are going to be of dubious quality.

The bad: Kelly Rowland as co-host. I'm not really buying it. I don't care how many shows she's been front-row for, she just doesn't strike me as a fashion icon. I'm already wondering who they'll replace her with next season.

The ugly: No Tim Gunn. Yes, I know that's sorta obvious, but Tim Gunn as the mentor figure really has made the difference for Project Runway and without someone to play a similar role, I think TFS is going to struggle to provide valuable input for the contestants.

Of course, there is the requisite crazy cast of characters, and the clear winner of wackiest contestant goes to Merlin. Even his name is nutsoid. I mean, just look at him! And, as T pointed out while we watched, he takes jaunty hats to a whole new level. I think I'm going to start keeping a hat count. I think this first episode featured at LEAST 4 different hats, if not more.

So is it as good as Project Runway? Of course not. There's very little that is. But will I watch it and make do until the new season starts? Well what else is there to do?

Didn't quite see that one coming

If anyone had told me at any point during this season that Hosea would win, I never would have believed it. But to his credit, he pulled it off when it mattered most, helped along a bit by the catastrophic collapse of Carla's judgment, and Stefan's ridiculous over-confidence.

Like with Richard last season, I honestly thought that the title was Stefan's to lose. And while I've previously found his attitude to be entertaining, in this case it was just off-putting. I was especially annoyed when, towards the end or the episode, he made some comment to the effect of how he deserved it because he's been on top so many times. Um, haven't they constantly hammered it home how it's NOT a cumulative contest, and you're only supposed to be judged on that week's competition? Not that the judges actually stick strictly to that rule themselves (um, Fabio's elimination anyone?) but still, whatever, dude.

I was much more disappointed in how Carla just seemed to let Casey take over her menu. It just seemed like a shocking lapse in judgment to decide to use a cooking technique that you have NEVER used before! Hello?! It's the finale! I mean, haven't you had 2 months to really think through what your menu is going to be? I was really rooting for Carla too and sad not just that she didn't win, but also to see her so disappointed in herself at Judge's Table.

As a sidenote, I'm also glad to see that Rocco managed to worm his way into the finale. Bleh. Was that really the best they could do? Especially after having Lidia Bastianich and Jacques Pepin just two episodes before?! I'm sorry, but Rocco sucks. And he has SO definitely had plastic surgery of some sort. Stop denying it man.

Anyways, I guess congratulations are due to Hosea. Good job flying low on the radar, firmly in the middle of the pack, and then staying steady while the other finalists collapsed. Lamest. Win. Ever.

Top Chef, the Oscars and Good-bye Conesy

I haven't written anything about this season of Top Chef, but I thought I'd just weigh in with a few thoughts on that and other happenings this last week in TV.

I have to say, this season of TC has been pretty awesome. The number of really top-notch, world-class chefs that they've had as guest judges....it's unbelievable. I was initially irked by the fact that they started with 157 freaking chef-testants, but once they narrowed it down to 8 or so, it started to be more manageable. T and I have been loving Fabio. We think he clearly deserves his own show. So that being said, we were both more than a little crushed when he got eliminated. I really thought that Stefan deserved to go, but I suspect that they wanted to maintain the "asshole" factor for the finale (see: Lisa).

I also think that despite what they keep saying about it not being a cumulative competition, that's really impossible for them to maintain. Stefan has been crushing almost the whole season, and I've been saying for weeks now that it's pretty much his prize to lose. However, that being said, I think that Carla is definitely a dark horse. T said numerous times during the course of the last episode that if you'd told him 2 months ago that Big Bird (that's what he calls her) would be in the finale, he would've fallen down laughing. Who knew she would come on so strong at the end?

I also felt a little bad for Richard, who was kind of up against impossible odds to make it to the finale. But hopefully this comeback will shave some time off of the 10 years that he said it'll take him to get over being booted. Man, talk about taking it hard....

I'm annoyed that Hosea has made it this far. He's come across as mediocre through most of the show, and the whole "romance" with Leah...bleh. I'm rooting for Carla, but I think Stefan will win.

Briefly, about the Oscars:
I watched most of it on delay on my DVR and let me just say, that was definitely the way to go! I skipped most of the boring speeches (sorry, costume design and documentary short award winners) and got through the show quickly enough that I barely noticed that it went 30 minutes late. Although, even with the ability to skip most of the commercials, I still couldn't help but notice the 8,342 ads for JC Penney! What was up with that? And what happened to the ads overall? Didn't the Oscars used to have good ads? Didn't it used to be considered the "Superbowl for women?" The few commercials I did watch were all old, or just plain garbage.

I thought Hugh Jackman did a respectable job, even if some of the song-and-dance numbers were on the cheesy side, and I also thought the set design and production quality overall was quite lovely. I kinda dug the whole retro-glamour thing. I was excited that Kate Winslet finally got the win, even though I haven't seen The Reader. I've just always loved her though. And I was also very happy that Slumdog Millionaire ruled the evening. Even though I didn't see all the nominees for Best Picture, I did see that one, and it's an amazing film.

Last, but not least, I wanted to comment on Conan O'Brien's last week on Late Night. I've long been a big fan of Conan, and he really did not disappoint last week. He showed many, if not all, of my favorite bits (many of my friends and I still quote lines from the olde-timey baseball bit), and the chopping up of his set was priceless.

T and I have wondered more than once how watered down Conan's going to be when he goes to the Tonight Show, and I have to say, the speech he gave at the very end of his show last Friday night was a nice reassurance that he plans on staying exactly the same (here's a link to watch the last show). I really really hope that's true, since I particularly love his brand of zany nonsense. Oh, and that being said, I was surprised and delighted to see this story today. I was happy to see Andy on the last show, and I'm very curious to see how it'll be to have him back.

Now if only they would take that hack, Leno, off the air for good...

Argh.

So. I'm at my mom's house this week. And she while she does have cable, she does NOT get Bravo. *sigh*

I thought I'd be able to watch this week's Project Runway online, but no such luck. The most recent episode they have up is the LL Cool J one. Jerks. And on top of that, I was trying really hard to NOT know who was kicked off before seeing the episode, but the first thing I see on Bravo's website? "Watch Jerell's last words!" Double jerks.

So no recap or comments this week. It'll have to save my vitriol for the finale. Instead, since my suspense is already ruined, I'll link to a recap by people infinitely funnier than me at Best Week Ever (the photo up top is also "courtesy" of them). And I'll also reiterate how much I HATE Kenley with the burning fire of a thousand suns. She sucks. I'd kiss Wendy Pepper before I'd shake Kenley's hand.

By the way, I must also add that my mom's computer is on Vista, which totally f'ing BLOWS. IE has crashed no less than 2 dozen times while I've been trying to post this. Grrr.

Unbelievable

So once again, Kenley squeaks through. Ugh, ugh, UGH!! I think tonight's episode really demonstrated every reason why she sucks.
Excuses for why she didn't win last week? Check.
Whining about how she's so misunderstood? Check.
Bagging on everyone else to make herself look better? Check.
Backtalk to Tim and the judges? Check.
Overconfidence? Check.

I think from the very first scene of the show, it was clear that she's finally on the downswing. Because yes, it's all Leanne's fault that you lost last week. She just couldn't sell your crappy white girl imitation version of hip hop. And then she wonders why no one likes her. Whatever. It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you've been a raging bitch all season, openly laughing at other designers' work and belittling anyone who dares to criticize you.

I think it's pretty telling when all the other designers openly hate one person. Normally, you'd figure they spend so much time together and that in most cases, the "villain" is more a victim of editing. But the evil glee that Jerell, Korto and Leanne all took in Kenley forgetting her tulle and then purposely NOT giving her their extra...hilarious! I laughed my freaking butt off.

I'm glad the judges FINALLY commented on Kenley's bad attitude too. I almost have to wonder if the fact that they have so little interaction with her has blinded them to her ongoing suckitude. I loved it too that Jerell called her out. Pure awesome.

I stand by my previous statements that Kenley sucks worse than the Pepper. At least Wendy Pepper knew that she was outclassed from a talent standpoint.

In any case, it was another sort of lackluster set of performances this week. I wasn't really over the moon about any of the dresses, so I'm really curious to see how their collections turn out (and no, I have NOT looked at any of the spoiler pics from Fashion Week) in next week's show, which I will probably have to find a way to watch online, since I'll be at my mom's house and she doesn't get Bravo. Grr.

I'm still picking Jerell and Korto as the two front-runners, with Jerell having the slight edge. I think Leanne is a bit of the dark horse since she seems to be a bit inconsistent, and also has trouble with some of her editing choices. I refuse to even entertain the notion of Kenley winning.

Speechless

hate. kenley. so. much.

I'm so enraged by tonight's show, I can barely speak. Suede's outfit wasn't great, but Kenley's was god-awful. I can't even talk about this. I'm going to have to write more when I've calmed down.

And then there were five...

OK, first off, a little rant:
I am so. freaking. sick. of Kenley! Ugh!!!! I don't think I've hated a Project Runway contestant this much since...Wendy Pepper. That's saying something. I mean, one of the first things they show her saying on last night's episode is how Tim Gunn just doesn't "get" her and she's not going to listen to him.

OK, how many freaking times do I have to say it? ALWAYS LISTEN TO TIM GUNN! The man is right about 99.8% of the time! And if you don't care what he or the judges think, then why bother being on this show? I hate hate hate people who think they know more than the judges. Or refuse to accept constructive criticism in order to grow and learn. Yes, I'm talking to you, Miss "I don't pay attention to other collections." Um, OK, that makes sense. Because you know, if you're so freaking smart, then why aren't you the editor of a major fashion magazine or the head of a multi-million dollar fashion empire? I'm not a huge fan of Michael Kors only because he's not to my personal taste, but I will admit that the man does know what he's doing.

T gave a perfect description of Kenley during one commercial break. He said that she's like the girl you meet at a party that seems really cool. She's all cute and hip with her vintage Bettie Page hair and clothes. But then you get to be friends with her and after a month or two, you realize that she just plain sucks. She's a bitch who has nothing else going for her but her surface appeal and her ability to bag on everything and everyone around her. (Ok, I embellished his words for that last sentence, but it's true.) When she busted out laughing on the runway at the judges' comments about Joe, I wanted to reach through the screen and smack her. I mean, seriously, show a little respect and self-control.

And this show has reflected that perfectly. After the first episode, both T and I really liked her, thought she was talented and cute. But the allure quickly faded as we realized that she's sort of a self-important bitch. And Jerel hit the nail on the head when he pointed out that she really only has the one look that she just keeps shuffling out there over and over and over again. In fact, Jerel has pointed that out about more than one contestant, and guess what? All the other ones are gone. After seeing the previews for next week, I cackled with evil glee at the thought of Kenley possibly finally getting her comeuppance.

Overall, I thought last night's was a good show. I love makeovers! I thought Jerel's look was amazing. He totally deserved his win. I don't think anyone else had a chance. Korto's look was cool. I was kinda surprised that she managed to pull off the burlap jacket. It was looking pretty dicey there for a while. Everyone else was...meh. Suede's and Joe's outfits were both pretty horrifying. As soon as Joe started talking about doing a suit from menswear fabric, my heart sank for him. I mean, I know he's not the most trendy hipster guy on the show, but sheesh man, a blue skirt suit? For a graphic designer? Really? He was doomed from the start. But Suede gave him a run for the money with his awful crazy ugly jacket. Anyone else notice how the much the references to himself in the third person have subsided now that he's on the chopping block?

So I think the top 3 are pretty clear. Jerel, Korto and Leanne. Although I'm sure Kenley will find a way to sneak in there, especially if they end up sending 4 instead of 3 to Bryant Park. I don't think Suede stands a chance. And Joe should have been happy to make it as far as he did. Yes, you're straight. Dude, we get it.

Fashion Week was actually last week, and I know all of the final 6 showed collections. I've refrained from reading much more than that because I want to preserve the suspense till I watch the finale.

Color me unimpressed

Am I the only one who is a bit disappointed in Project Runway this season? Like, maybe they decided to cast for drama instead of talent? I swear, I am SO sick of listening to contestants bitch and moan about how misunderstood they are. Ugh! The last two weeks of whining have just made me so irritable. In fact, I was beyond disgusted to have to even look at Keith's face again last night. That guy sucks beyond belief. I can't believe they brought all those people back. I never really get it when they do stuff like that. I mean, you have all these people who've been booted, some of whom have GOT to still be bitter (ahem, Keith), and they have zero incentive for helping their partner! I would probably say screw you and take a nap too.

Also, is anyone else starting to hate Kenley as much as I do? I really liked her after the first episode or two, but man is she irritating now! Between the annoyingly fake laugh and the general overconfidence and refusal to accept criticism, she's fallen far and fast in my book. And I've hated the last few outfits she's made too. Last week, I was stunned when she ended up in the top two. And last night...blech.

I was also a little surprised that Jerel won last night. I didn't care much for his outfit. I guess I'm just not in sync with the judges this season. I was glad to see Blayne go, and a little surprised that Suede escaped the axe. I liked Terri, but I have to admit that after one of the other contestants pointed out that she was sort of a one-trick pony, the charm started to wear off.

So now we're finally down to a more interesting and manageable six contestants. Again, not hugely impressed with any of them. I do like Leanne quite a bit after she got over her early missteps (and ditched the fugly glasses). And Jerel, while inconsistent, seems to be a pretty solid contender as well. But everyone else...meh.

The Cho Show

Late last night I caught what I think was the first episode of Margaret Cho's new show on VH1. I remember reading a while back that she was going to have a show, but frankly, I kind of abandoned VH1's whole "celebreality" lineup a few months ago and forgot all about it. I'm normally all for trashy tv, but I've had more than my fill of Bret Michaels, "New York," rehab and whatever other dreck they've been throwing on.

I've always been a huge fan of Margaret Cho, even during and after her awful awful sitcom, but I kind of stopped hearing about her for a while. I think there was a rehab stint or something? Anyways, next time I saw her, she's all super svelte and has all these crazy tats! (If you want to see a crazy and slightly disturbing picture, check out the link in #3 on this site, found through Pajiba)

But I was pleasantly surprised by The Cho Show. It reminds me a little bit of Kathy Griffin's Bravo show, but not quite so desperate or mean-spirited. Not that I don't like My Life on the D List, but it gets a little old. Cho's show is a little bit over the top as well (her personal assistant is a glammed-out little person, she considers going to an awards show in body paint only), but then I would expect no less. And somehow, Cho is just generally less grating on my nerves. I also really like actually seeing her interact with her parents since I always wondered how accepting they were of her performances, among other things. But it's kind of tender to see that while they clearly think she's nutty, they just kind of roll with it, even when she makes fun of them and threatens to put them in a home.

I'm adding a season pass to my DVR. I believe new eps are on Thursday nights, but of course VH1 also reruns them ad nauseum.

Where to begin

I keep meaning to write about the new season of Project Runway, but it's almost too overwhelming during these early episodes. I can't remember anyone's name, especially now that they start with 16 contestants! But now that we're down to a sort of reasonable number, I'm going to do my best. Although I will preface with saying that I was sort of bummed that the Asian guy was the first one "Auf'd." Why is it always the Asian dude that turns out to be embarrassing? Dammit.

So we're only 3 episodes in, there are already 3 people I cannot stand. I'm sure it won't take rocket science to figure out who they are.

#1. Guy who keeps referring to himself in the third person. I'm sorry, was there EVER a point in time when this was considered funny or cool? T pointed out that despite the idiocy of it, it does effectively draw attention to yourself. So congratulations Suede, you win the prize for having having an asinine schtick to match your asinine name. I could almost over look it if he were 17, but he's freaking 37! I'm all the more pained by the fact that he appears to actually be talented, so we may have to endure this for a while. Bleh.

#2. Old chick who thinks she's still rockin.' From the first episode, she's done nothing but whine. Her cause is also hurt by the fact that she is annoying just to look at. What the heck is up with the dots of eyeliner under her eyes? Scary.

#3. Guy who thinks it's clever to add "licious" to everything. Um, yeah, not funny. It's not even original dude. Just sad, really.

Onto tonight's episode. Was I the only one who was shocked/horrified by the outcome? I honestly thought that Kenley's outfit was hideous. I mean, I guess it was well-made, but the colors made my head hurt. I wasn't a big fan of Terri's either, but I guess the whole 80s aesthetic is in now. I can't believe that Leanne didn't win though. Hers was so gorgeous!

I was also pretty surprised that Emily was eliminated. Her dress was definitely not great, but it wasn't nearly as hideous as Jennifer or Keith's! I'm usually pretty good at calling it on who's going to be booted, and I was way off this time.

So the frontrunners so far seem to be Kenley, Kelli and (sigh) Suede. The talent (and ego) levels seem to be very high again this season, so I suppose anything can happen.

Oh, one last thing. What the hell happened to Sandra Bernhard's face? She looked like she was so botoxed that she could barely manage a smile. Bleah!

Just noticed this

From Yahoo Most Popular - because you know, that's where all the hard-hitting news is:
I guess Jessica is out due to injury and Comfort is back in.

It'll be interesting to see what happens this week now, especially since I never thought Jessica was that strong a performer anyways. But I also doubt that Comfort will make the most of her reprieve.

No big surprises

It's taken me a while to catch up since we were out of town all last week, but I ended up watching last week's and this week's SYTYCD pretty much back to back. It's all starting to get a bit predictable now. After we watched last week's, where Kourtni & Matt were eliminated (meh - good riddance, tall freaks), I immediately turned to T and said, "Buh-bye Comfort & Thayne" because it was so SO obvious that they were going to be cut next. I mean, they were decent, but let's face it, they were also just both way out of their league compared to the remaining 10, some on a level of talent, but others on a charisma/personality level.

But all that being said, I have to say, it's starting to irk me how the judges really stump more for some couples over others. More than a few times this season, I've thought that a dance was really kind of sucky and tired, but then the judges come out fawning all over how wonderful it is. I hate to sound like one of those lame-o conspiracy types, but it really does seem odd how certain couples would just get hammered every week no matter how good the routine seemed to my amateur eyes.

Also, am I the only one who wants to punch Mary Murphy in the face? I know being loud and annoying is like, her schtick, but damn, she's really taking it to a whole new level this year. And since when did the "hot tamale train" become some sort of marketable catch phrase. It cracks me up when she shakes her head, all sad and serious, and says, "I'm sorry, I just can't put you on the train this week." It's not frickin' Sophie's Choice woman. I feel like the Queen Bee chick from Mean Girls and saying "Stop saying 'fetch!' It's just not going to happen!" No one is going to be buying "Hot Tamale Train" t-shirts, Mary Murphy. Just give it up. It was only moderately funny for one season. Now it's just sad.

Total side note, but how scary has her eye makeup has been the past couple weeks? In case you missed it, she's had this crazy shimmery white eyeliner all around her eyes. T said she looked like an alien. I wish I could find a picture.

But to get back to the top 10 remaining, I think Will is the obvious favorite, especially considering how much the judges kiss his ass. Jessica has clearly been riding his coattails, and once they switch to individual voting, I bet she'll sink like a rock. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she's off next week. Also, has anyone else noticed how all the remaining girls are all perky & cute, girl-next-door types? Hmmm...suspicious.

For the girls, I think Chelsie is the frontrunner. I like Courtney a lot too, but I don't think she's as strong a dancer. I think she benefits a lot from good chemistry with Gev. For some reason Katee rubs me the wrong way, so I'm having a hard time rooting for her, even though as a rule, I always root for the Asians. ;) Still, her Bollywood routine this week was pretty awesome.

Boys: I'm still rooting for Twitch, but he's starting to be a little too cheesy for me. I've always really liked Mark, but I don't think he can win the whole thing. The quirkiness that attracts me probably repels too many others. And I'll admit, Will's crazy six-pack did make a strong impression the last couple weeks. If they keep having him dance shirtless, he's a cinch for the female vote (ooh, wish I had a pic of that too).

Woefully behind

I know that I have yet to say much about this season of So You Think You Can Dance, but I only finally just got caught up via DVR a few days ago. Besides, no one is super invested in any one guy/gal just yet anyways. We need a couple more episodes for that. I will say though that I was disappointed that Rayven got knocked out in Week 1. I kinda dug her and she had a nice backstory too. And I was really happy to see Susie go last week. I dubbed her "Stripperella" as soon as I saw her in the audition phase. Let me just say, if she's really 24 or 25...well, then I guess I am too. She is a very...worn...looking 25, to put it nicely. T used a much less kind phrase which I won't repeat here. But we already know about Nigel's penchant for blondes, especially ones with big boobs.

Other than that, I also wanted to comment on the fact that the judging this year seems incredibly biased. I don't know why they have it out for Courtney and Gev, but man, are they harsh on them or what?! Also, yes, we get it, Will is an amazing GENIUS. Sheesh. Debbie Allen's not on anymore, stop kissing his ass. Also, there have been so many numbers that I thought were mediocre, but the judges raved about and vice versa. I have to say, makes me a bit suspicious.

There's also been more than a few routines that I already have to call bullshit on. First off, what's up with all the lame-ass hip hop routines? What happened to all the hard core stuff? Are we doomed to see an umbrella routine every week from now until the end of time to appeal to the middle-aged yuppies and their teeny-bopper children and sell tickets to the tour? Blech.

My faves so far are Twitch (of course) and Chelsea. Note that I favor those who have normal names, spelled in a normal manner. Adding extraneous E's and random silent H's to your name only makes me want to punch you in the face (yeah, I'm talking to you, Kherrington, Kourtni & Katee). Looking forward to tonight's show. Hopefully, I'll have a chance to watch it live for a change.

My new guilty pleasure

I think my reality guilty pleasure for this summer has got to be Celebrity Circus. When I first heard about it, I thought, "Eh, they're bringing back Circus of the Stars. Big whup." But then I saw a commercial in which Christopher Knight (aka Peter Brady) fell on his face while trying to roll in one of those giant metal wheels. Hilarious. And yes, I do now know that he broke his arm in that fall, and yes, it's still mostly funny.

For those of you that missed it, it's pretty much what you would think it is, except it has the nice added element of competition that seems to be a requirement for any reality show these days. It features 7 "celebrities," each performing a different act for a panel of judges and America's love.

I missed the breakdown of how the scoring and call-in stuff combines, but I'm going to assume it's similar to Dancing with the Stars. And much like DwtS, there's also a panel of circus "experts" that has a nice guy, a crazy Italian, and a saucy Brit. As we watched it, T once again lamented his inability to pull of a fakey British accent so he could be a judge on one of these shows.

The cast is pretty much your standard mix of former child stars, athlete(s) and over-the-hill celebrities looking to milk a few last drops of fame, and some of which have been on the reality circuit before. However, all that being said, I have to say, most of the stuff they had to do looked pretty hard. And safety wire or not, it definitely looked at least a little bit dangerous. I'll note though that T remained unconvinced, saying that he thought the "safety" wire was really suspending them in some cases and making it easier. Whatever.

Of the 7, right now I'd say my picks are: Antonio Sabato Jr., who still looks pretty hot even though he's got to be kind of old now (ETA: ok, I just looked him up on IMDB and he's only 36), and did a good job of making his little flying scarf dealie look easy. Also, Janet Evans gets my vote just by sheer fact of having the most rock-hard abs I've ever seen, especially considering she had a baby 18 months ago. Um yeah, I have a 15-month old and let me tell you, I don't look anything like that.

Oh, and how could I forget? The show is hosted by none other than Joey Fat-one. Glad to see another DwtS alum finding work. Joey has managed to parlay his dancing into quite the little reality career between this, the Singing Bee show that was on last year, and another dancing show he's co-hosting with Mel B. that's coming out on TLC soon. This leads me to wonder, how can I get on Dancing with the Stars? I could use a cush reality hosting job.

All is right with the world

Congratulations to Stephanie, the hometown winner! Lisa can suck it. That is all.

Words fail me.

I thought that I'd have more to say after sleeping on it, but Lisa making it to the final three...I still can't believe it. She is so awful. I told my sister-in-law last night that I hope she's like Wendy Pepper in season one of Project Runway; she clearly didn't deserve to be in the finals based on talent and everyone knew it, including the judges, who dismissed her pretty quickly.

If Richard or Stephanie don't win this, then there is something seriously wrong with this show.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I saw a commercial for Hell's Kitchen last night and thought, "oh yeah, is this show still on?" I still don't really get the timing of when they started this season. It's usually a summer show, and I know Fox was probably hurting for new content after the strike ended, but I don't think I've watched even one full episode, so I couldn't care less now that they're down to the final five. I know Top Chef is on cable, but why in the world would they go up against it? It only makes their show look all the more pathetic. If they'd used even the tiniest bit of common sense, they would've started Hell's Kitchen NOW. I probably would've watched it. I'd feel dirty about it, but I would've have watched anyways just to get my fix of cooking and crappy reality.

And no, I won't be watching the Next Food Network Star. That show is beyond awful. The whole debacle last season with the guy who lied about his resume...lame.

Really?

Do we really need yet another dance show? Particularly one that's hosted by yet another former Dancing with the Stars contestant? When they put out the call for hosts, is "must have competed on a dance show but otherwise have no dancing expertise" a requirement?

I saw a commercial the other night for a new show coming on TLC called "Master of Dance" where basically, they have people come on and do the routines from various famous songs/videos. It actually looks like it could be entertaining, but man, I'm just burned out on dancing shows. Between DwtS, America's Best Dance Crew, Step It Up and Dance (which I totally abandoned in its lame-osity and only watch on repeats at like 2am when nothing else is on), and now the return of So You Think You Can Dance, I just don't have room in my brain for another show.

Speaking of SYTYCD, I have to admit, I'm not as juiced up about this season as I have been in the past. Normally, my sister-in-law and I furiously exchange texts during the shows and pick our favorites, but this year we both sort of didn't realize it was on. Maybe it's just the auditions, which have become kind of predictible and repetitive, if not downright lame. Yes, we know, you're some whack-job wearing a silly outfit who thinks that you're a stud...next! OK, another badass popper who won't be able to make it through choreography...next! It's all getting kind of old. I'm hoping that the Vegas round is more entertaining.

Six of one, half dozen of the other

I thought about titling this "Goodbye to another Ugly Hat man," but I have to say I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. Spike is gone. And deservedly so. But now that means that Lisa is in the finals. Ridiculous. As the episode got down to those last few minutes, I was really really wishing that they'd just ax both of them. I am so sick of even looking at Lisa...but Spike's smart mouth (well, those scallops were in your walk-in...gah!), not to mention idiotic choice of the aforementioned frozen scallops...blech. I'm really really happy to see that Stefanie and Richard made it into the finals. I think it's going to come down to those two, unless one or both of them managed to choke big time at the end, which I hate to admit, may happen with Stefanie. I love her because she seems like such a nice Midwestern girl, but sometimes she does some goofy shit. For some reason, I'm just not a big fan of Antonia. Something about her...it just puts me off. Honestly, I think this contest is Richard's to lose, much like Hung last year.

I also have to mention that I really like how this season, they've done more challenges that were about basic skills. Butchering meat was an excellent idea for a quickfire, especially in Chicago. I'll confess, we spent maybe 15 minutes talking about butchering when I was in cooking school (they gave us some lame excuse that it's rare to need that skill), so I can't butcher a damn thing. But I totally wish that I could.