Yeesh

I think I've sunk to a new reality television low. I started watching Celebrity Rehab on VH1 last week. Oh. My. God. I think this show is too much, even for me. I forced T to watch with me, and we spent the whole hour squirming in discomfort. But of course, like the car wreck gapers that we are, we could not look away.

For those of you with better moral fiber than myself who don't know what the hell I'm talking about, this is yet another VH1 show where they take disparate washed up "celebrities" and throw them together in manufactured wacky scenarios. Usually, hilarity ensues -- see previous seasons of "The Surreal Life" or "Celebrity Fit Club."

Well, this time, they decided to skip the hilarity and just focus on the really ugly substance abuse side. And man, is it ugly. A quick rundown of the cast, in order of, more or less, most memorable:

Jeff Conway, who had to leave Celebrity Fit Club to go into rehab a few seasons ago, is the most flaming hot mess I've ever seen. It's not even funny anymore. Just really really sad. I don't think they even know how many different drugs he's on.

Mary Carey, porn star and former CA gubernatorial candidate. I think she's mostly a drunk, although judging from how she flipped out when they took away her pornos and dildos, I'd say maybe a sex addiction issue too.

Jamiee Foxworth, also known as the little girl from Family Matters who later did some porn. She's probably one of the more interesting to me because her addiction is to marijuana. It's not often that you really hear about people deciding they have a true problem with how much they smoke, especially since it's such a low-key drug. But apparently, she smokes almost constantly - like an ounce a week.

Chyna, the former wrestler. Honestly, I'm not sure what the hell she's there for, other than publicity. I mean, maybe she has a drinking problem? But it certainly doesn't seem on par with any of the others there.

Brigitte Nielsen, better known as the former Mrs. Sylvester Stallone, and former flame of Flava Flav. Now, if you've ever seen Surreal Life or Strange Love, you know that SHE has a drinking problem.

Daniel Baldwin, the oft-forgotten Baldwin brother. He's also had a fairly well-documented history of drug/alcohol problems. I think he got arrested last year for stealing a car? Something kind of crazy like that. Oddly enough, he's the only one on this show who's already sober and trying to maintain it.

After that, there are a few more people that I'm not all that familiar with. One is some tatted up singer of a pseudo-punky rock band with a heroin/oxycontin problem. And another is a former American Idol contestant (sorry, that's one of the few shows I just never got into) who got into alcohol and I think cocaine.

Oh, and I almost forgot. The ringmaster of this circus is Dr. Drew, from Loveline. I have to say though, I'm sorta impressed by Dr. Drew. I kinda thought that this was another limelight grubbing venture, where he would breeze in and check on everyone here and there. But so far, through the first two episodes, it seems like he's been there the whole time and taken a really active role, especially with Jeff Conway's detox.

Ugh, okay, there's a lot more I could say about this show, but I'm starting to feel dirty. I'll just leave with a few more thoughts - mainly I'm surprised that these people are so willing to air this stuff out in public. It's one thing to have a well-known drug/alcohol problem. It's another to let the whole world see your DT shakes. Regardless of whether they're doing it for the money, exposure, or to genuinely help themselves and others, I will say that showing this to little kids would be a pretty solid anti-drug PSA.